My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
