So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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