i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
