It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
