pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
