i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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