Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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