it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
