Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing

Fav 2 911 4249
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(914): View more from New York

fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.

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(773): View more from Illinois

When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger

(708): View more from Illinois

You are the reason we need health care reform

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(607): View more from New York

Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.

Fav 13 4725 1323
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(609): View more from New Jersey

We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far

Fav 11 6169 1598
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(740): View more from Ohio

I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.

Fav 6 3536 1055
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(305): View more from Florida

NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY

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(630): View more from Illinois

well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room

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