I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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