I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
