i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
