Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
