I wannas sexs uuuuu
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
