Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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