if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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