Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Too much gin, very little bucket
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
