cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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