Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
