am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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