Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
