i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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