Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season