The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night