I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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