Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned

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  (810): I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned http://tfl.nu/gdtw
  Replies (2) Good night (1337) Bad night (653)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  just survived the first fart of the relationship.

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  (719): just survived the first fart of the relationship. http://tfl.nu/r3p3
  Replies (15) Good night (4180) Bad night (909)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.

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  (248): the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it. http://tfl.nu/bv5q
  Replies (15) Good night (2909) Bad night (1001)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  My Vagina smells like Nemo again.

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  (651): My Vagina smells like Nemo again. http://tfl.nu/j13v
  Replies (29) Good night (699) Bad night (5338)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  This is the prime rib incident all over again

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  (561): This is the prime rib incident all over again http://tfl.nu/74hx
  Replies (14) Good night (3337) Bad night (1237)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea

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  (920): Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea http://tfl.nu/0m14
  Replies (3) Good night (2386) Bad night (1182)
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  (925): View more from California

  you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race

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  (925): you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race http://tfl.nu/3da3
  Replies (8) Good night (4287) Bad night (996)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.

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  (419): Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class. http://tfl.nu/zkx8
  Replies (5) Good night (1021) Bad night (2653)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.

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  (250): Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment. http://tfl.nu/7c81
  Replies (10) Good night (1429) Bad night (2434)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ

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  (902): how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ http://tfl.nu/dj5w
  Replies (5) Good night (1309) Bad night (556)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.

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  (772): When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny. http://tfl.nu/z1it
  Replies (14) Good night (766) Bad night (2316)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Why do you think she gets more guys?

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that

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  (603): Why do you think she gets more guys? (1-603): well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that http://tfl.nu/1cti
  Replies (2) Good night (1633) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.

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  (734): This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts. http://tfl.nu/fqt4
  Replies (2) Good night (790) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.

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  (720): I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left. http://tfl.nu/nrse
  Replies (9) Good night (561) Bad night (725)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together

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  (716): I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together http://tfl.nu/7tey
  Replies (1) Good night (238) Bad night (390)

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