So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Randomize
