Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu

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  (805): she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu http://tfl.nu/ucad
  Replies (12) Good night (7413) Bad night (810)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened

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  (978): i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened http://tfl.nu/l318
  Replies (23) Good night (1129) Bad night (7268)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?

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  (202): Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way? http://tfl.nu/rhdn
  Replies (25) Good night (2670) Bad night (603)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall

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  (703): Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall http://tfl.nu/bqaz
  Replies (60) Good night (7221) Bad night (1255)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card

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  (304): Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card http://tfl.nu/10du
  Replies (15) Good night (4278) Bad night (887)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.

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  (308): You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants. http://tfl.nu/tdj1
  Replies (13) Good night (5444) Bad night (1183)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled

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  (352): he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled http://tfl.nu/6wmo
  Replies (2) Good night (1812) Bad night (744)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar

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  (406): Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar http://tfl.nu/9n3o
  Replies (6) Good night (1404) Bad night (633)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything

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  (608): I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything http://tfl.nu/ll8l
  Replies (6) Good night (624) Bad night (1976)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.

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  (603): I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/zhxc
  Replies (3) Good night (836) Bad night (1405)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!

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  (423): You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!! http://tfl.nu/8r5y
  Replies (14) Good night (1490) Bad night (546)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.

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  (908): I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there. http://tfl.nu/gv3y
  Replies (1) Good night (453) Bad night (685)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.

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  (813): Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype. http://tfl.nu/49n0
  Replies (4) Good night (1162) Bad night (305)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink

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  (817): If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink http://tfl.nu/nuwv
  Replies (1) Good night (670) Bad night (290)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.

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  (208): Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked. http://tfl.nu/tzyh
  Replies (1) Good night (689) Bad night (176)

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