I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.