we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
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Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
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Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Enjoy the penises