she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
