last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize