We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
