i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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