I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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