She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
What a dumb baby whore.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
