Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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