Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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