So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
