69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
