You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
