have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Two words: blizzard sex
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
