About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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