Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
