Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
