Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
