All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You smell like stripper and shame
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
