If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize