Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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