your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
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I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
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Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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