That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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