Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
