When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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