The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize