we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize