thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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