A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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