After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
