being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize