And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
