Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
