I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
