my mouth tastes like poor choices
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
