Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
