I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
