Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
