I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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