How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
