Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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