U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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