this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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