ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
