Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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