He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize