He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
