i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
